Whilst the recent news that researchers have implemented an interface to connect the brain directly to Twitter has got me worried about the human race turning into the Belcerebon people of Kakrafoon (you might need to look that up in the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy), it would seem that there’s no shortage of websites already offering ways for people to broadcast their every though to everyone. And here’s 2 of my favourites:
1) Overheard in New York – of all of the “overheard in” sites listing snippets of other peoples’ conversations, this is the one which reliably comes up with the best self-contained stuff that isn’t just Carry-on style double-entendre.
Middle-aged woman: Tradition brings us all together and makes us feel close.
Twentysomething woman: That’s not the tradition; it’s the Jack Daniels.
Older woman: Excuse me, miss?
Younger woman: Yeah?
Older woman: Your veil, your burqa is very beautiful. I didn’t know your people were allowed to wear it in bright colors.
Younger woman: It’s not a burqa, it’s a poncho. I’m Jewish. It’s for the rain. I got it at TJ Maxx.
Cop, taking report of stolen car: Ok, what was the color, make and model?
Metro Guy: It’s cranberry and…
Cop: Cranberry’s something you eat, son, your car was red.Sassy flight attendant: In the event of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will be released from the overhead above your seat. After the screaming subsides, please place the oxygen mask around your nose and mouth. If you are traveling with a child or an adult who is acting like a child, place your mask on first before attempting to help put theirs on.
And soforth.
2) Texts from last night – particularly, the bad nights/worst nights section. Not something you’d let your grandmother read.
(570): If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
There’s no witty conclusion to this – it was just kinda interesting.