Piecost.Net

Two antennae meet on a roof, fall in love and decide to get married.

The service wasn’t up to much, but the reception was excellent.

[Popbitch]

An elderly man walks into a confessional.

He tells the priest, ‘I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children and grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.’

Priest: ‘Are you sorry for your sins?’

Man: ‘What sins?”

Priest: ‘What kind of a Catholic are you?’

Man: ‘I’m Jewish.’

Priest: ‘Why are you telling me all this?’

Man: ‘I’m 92 years old … I’m telling everybody.’

[Popbitch]

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, throws himself into his couch in front of the television, and shouts to his wife with some urgency, “Qucik! Get me a beer before it starts!”

The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me another beer before it starts!”

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute.”

The wife is furious. She yells at him “Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? I’ve been slaving over housework all day, and you waltz in here and demand…”

The man sighs and says, “Uh oh… It’s started !”

[Martacus tells it best]

A flight attendant start servings in-flight meals (clearly on one of the few airlines that still subscribe to the concept), and asks the man seated in the front row if he would like one.

‘What are the options?’, he asked.

‘”Yes” or “no”‘, she replied.

[thanks Shaun - I mean, I thank you... thousands wouldn't.]