Every so often appears a story which renders the reader into a stupour, unable to decide whether to break down laughing or start editoralizing about the state of the world. Either way, there’s no way you could make this stuff up:
Don’t people argue about who the best British Prime Minister was any more?
[thanks Jeffo!]
PS Pitt the Elder
The Sun reports that as a form of protest against last week’s World Cup qualifier result, cleaners across Ireland have been defacing vacuum cleaners bearing the surname of the contentious French sportsman involved in the match controversy which dashed their hopes of going to South Africa.
Several cleaners say they’re unhappy working with vacuum cleaners with the cheat’s name written on them.
It’s bizarre because the machines have nothing whatsoever to do with Thierry Henry.
You’ll have to go for the legs with… errm… I guess a bit of wool would probably do the trick.
[thanks Siany]
Another journalistic gem from Australia – this time from the Northern Territory’s NT News: a woman involved in a high-speed car crash in the excellently named town of Humpty Doo had been fingered by the driver of the vehicle as the cause of the mishap, however she staunchly denies being the culprit – employing empirical reason as her defence. The paper cheerfully relays her reasoning in stellar fashion:
I was not ****ing his **** — and it’s pretty obvious that wasn’t the case … you only have to look at the mark on my chest. Clearly I had my seat belt on, so it’s impossible I’d be leaning over ****ing his ***** unless he is hung like a donkey or I’ve got a ******* rubber neck. If it was true I’d just cop it sweet and think ‘how embarrassing, I got caught ****ing someone’s ****. But it is not true and that’s what is p***ing me off. It didn’t happen like that at all — he was just going too fast.
[sorted from the chaff by Neonwombat]
In a remarkable gesture of restraint and moderation by event organisers, patron of Australian premier motor sport event – the Bathurst 1000 – are having limits imposed on them regarding how much booze they’re allowed to take on-site. The daily limit is one slab (24 x 375mL cans) per person.
“But more restrained spectators would be able to slake their thirst, if not their craving for alcohol, with up to 36 cans of low or mid-strength beer. Wine lovers must make do with no more than four liters of cask wine per day and combinations of the options would not be allowed.”
Sometimes you’ve just got to get by on 9 litres of beer a day.
[Reuters/Yahoo News, courtesy of Sir Sydney]
Brilliance: the b3ta image challenge for the moment… “If America Were Still British“.
These people know what they’re doing.
I suspect their employers don’t, though.
[pointed out by the eagle-eyed Franco]
Footage of a Russian IL-76 taking off – it’s a little slow to get started (both metaphorically and actually), but it’s quite something to witness all the way through.
According to wikipedia the maximum takeoff weight of one of these puppies fully laden is 157 tonnes.
[courtesy of Sir Sydney of Muswell Hill]
The Wisconsin Tourism Federation has recently decided to amend its nomenclature to the Tourism Federation of Wisconsin, after they learned that their acronym – which they’ve proudly been using since 1979 – was identical to a piece of rude vernacular in common use on the Internet.
The main WTF at work here seems to be why they’d pass up a perfectly good marketing opportunity like this… after all, the Federated Union of Colorado, Kansas, Wyoming, Idaho, and Texas Spelunkers aren’t given such a silver platter.
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